Friday, October 21, 2011

I Am Aware of the Darkness I Sit In.

I am standing,
face to face.
with a bright shining sun and a brilliant gleaming moon,
and your eyes, which make me uncomfortable with their kindness and warmth.
I don’t believe you.
My hands are drawn to you, grasping for your touch,
but my eyes want to turn away, shut tight for fear of seeing you cringe.
I feel your warmth radiate.
I hear your voice, full of friendship and love.
but I am illegitimate.
If I am looking into your face, I can feel myself come undone beneath the danger of loving you.
I am aware of the threat,
the terrorism that may pull me apart at any second
if I let these walls down and bare my soul.
the violence that will unfold if my passion is reciprocated,
the unfathomable destruction that will consume both of our lives
if we fall in love.
And I am aware of the darkness I sit in.
And I do not want to be its friend.
And I do not want you to leave me there.
and so I pray for violence,
and a burning light so bright I cannot help but reach out and touch it,
and be burned
and feel again

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